Thoughts about injuries

I don't know if it is okay for a person to write in their own forum but since no one else has written in my forum I am going to. Here is some information about a small injury I received yesterday:
Yesterday I had a panic attack like most days because it was the afternoon and there was nothing on TV. During my panic attack I punched myself in the right eye many times in a row. This is actually not a bad thing compared to other things I could have done to myself. When it was over I was very embarrassed. The worst part was that I had not left much of a mark. I realized that I am a stupid little girl who can not even punch herself and do a good job. There were two slight bruises that looked like little brown marks but you could only see them if you looked closely. Later I looked up online how to give yourself a black eye. There is such a lack of helpful advice for anything important on the internet. There were a couple of youtube videos that were just jokes and there were some explanations about how someone might receive a black eye in scientific terms and then were the usual stupid suggestions like "get into a fight". If I got into a fight I would get paralyzed. That is just one example of the kind of thing that would happen to me. My father thinks I am a teacup to be handled gently. My mother thinks I am a spot on her $5,000 rug. They are both correct. My point is, nobody knows anything worth knowing on the internet and that is why I made this forum. I am worried that I will start punching myself all the time until I get the black eye I want. But I am not actually worried and that is what worries me. Isn't that funny that I am worried about not being worried about myself? Does it make you chuckle at all?